Fel's Musings

2018 what a year. Tide pods were in January. Black Panther was in February. Thanos snapped this year. It all feels like it happened last year. Tide pods felt like half a decade ago. Anyway, 2018 was a unique year for me. My friend Laura said something to me at the beginning of the year that really touched my heart.             “Fel, you’re my friend.” :_) Friend. That sure is nice to hear. Oh, she also offered a bit of advice.             “You should focus more on yourself in 2018.” That was really nice advice. My general practitioner/doctor echoed her sentiments when he weighed me in. 304 pounds. There was too much Fel. I needed to be less Fel. So for this year, I did something I had never done before, I made a New Year resolution. I’m kidding. I’ve mad resolutions before in the past, but I’ve never really accomplished them. In my defense, most years my resolution was ...

Do you ever have a dream where you wonder what your mind is even trying to say? I just had one of those. In the dream, I finally caved into my parents demands and went back to Hawaii despite the fact that there’s not a whole lot left for me there. While I was there, an invite came in the mail. “Please show up for Kelly’s birthday. It would mean a lot for all of us. Since she hasn’t been quite the same since, you know, the accident. L ” I threw the invite in the garbage but my mother fished it out and wondered what was wrong with me.             “Me? I’m not the one using an accident to get free presents. Who the hell puts a frowny face on an invite? This isn’t the internet.” Well, they forced me to go anyway, along with them. The excuse “I’m on vacation, I shouldn’t have to deal with people!” didn’t work either (though that one never works, so no surprise there). My parents were quite frustrated with me. I wanted nothing ...

Does something ever happen in your dreams that make you wonder if you have an issue? Like, maybe you spend all your time on Netflix so you dream of watching Netflix. Well, that happened to me this past sleep cycle. Not Netflix, I don't have that, it was just an example. While I was sleeping, Dream Fel decided to, why not, go to sleep. Here I am, in a dream where my imagination comes true. I can imagine myself in love with someone or being white but, nope, what Dream Fel wants to sleep. I wonder what Dream Fel dreams of. Probably of yet another Dream Fel falling asleep.

Do you ever have messed up dreams? No, I don't want to hear about them, this is just a lazy setup so I can talk about mine. Somehow my mind gets teleported back in time, to the early days of me at Kahuku High and Intermediate School. Ah, memories. Not good mind you, but they were memories. The school was having a vote on whether to keep uniforms or not. A bit odd considering I didn't remember Kahuku having uniforms. "We must've voted them out pronto." I reasoned. I got in line to do my civic duty and the person tallying the votes were taking people's fingerprints to count the vote. But they weren't taking their prints in a reasonable fashion, like with ink on paper. No, they had people press their fingers in mashed potatoes and had that count as a vote tally. "Why not just use Arabic Numerals, like the rest of the civilized world? I asked in my usual condescending tone. "This is America, we don't use those weird ...

I think I became a villain in my dream. And no, it wasn't because of a woman. I know you're thinking that -_- See, I was in the middle of trying to fix mistakes that were made. It's something I find myself doing almost daily. And as I'm trying to fix this child's toy bus that happened to be fixing a wheel, my buddy walks up to me. "Fel, buddy. You need to take it easy. I know you have a need to fix mistakes but you're going to burn yourself out." I have to try though. I can't just leave things be. "I know. I just think you're trying to do the impossible by insisting on fixing everything. It just can't be done. People make mistakes faster than you alone can fix." You're right, [Name Redacted to protect this person]! There's too many people making mistakes. "Awesome! Now how about you relax? The party has already started, come join us." All this time, I was fixing m...