I might have a slight problem.

 Me: So, back on September 20th, I weighed in at 165 when I got on the scale for a check up at the doctor. I bought a scale to keep track of it at home. This scale says I'm at 200. Either this scale is iffy or I gained 35 pounds in about two weeks.

Cory: That can happen when you eat countless spoonfuls of peanut butter

Voice inside my head:



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Spooky Story

Image
It’s the month of October. Which means it’s the season of scary stuff. Hauntings, Death and, worst of all, politics (if you screamed, that was probably your neighbor finally snapping from all the advertisements they’ve been getting informing them that a politician’s political opponent ate babies and didn’t even have the common courtesy of saying grace beforehand. The horror!). I’m going to focus on the first two topics talking about death and a possible haunting because I have an interesting* story to tell (*interesting by my standards which, in case you haven’t noticed, are quite low.). Something tragic happened in October and I deal with events like that the same way I deal with anything else in life, writing about it once or twice then going back to looking at memes and cute animal pictures because-AWW, who’s a good doggo. Heckin yes, you are! Sorry. Tragic time. A friend of mine, who I used to do youtube videos with, has taken their own life. I’m sure most of you are expressing...
Read more

Dating App Reply

  I asked her how her Halloween was and if she did anything fun. She replied: it was fun. Not sure what “it” she did that was fun but at least she had some.   If you’re asking “Why did you ask her how her Halloween was in December?” there’s a good answer to your question. I didn’t. I asked how her Halloween was in November, specifically November 1 st . It just took her a month to get back to me. 3 words took her 30 days to write. And I thought I was a lazy writer. “She sounds awful. What did you see in this person that made you swipe right on them?” Well, she said she loved to talk and would not shut up. So I figured she’d be fun to talk to. Yeah, that was it. “Was she cute?” I dunno, maybe? I did notice that she never smiled in any of her pics, and she only shared face shots so the fact that she thinks these are her best aspects really says a lot about the quality of people on these apps. “But you’re on those apps.” Yeah, I know. We’re all well aware of my many faults an...
Read more