Updating Author Profile?

 

I was thinking of updating my author profile on Amazon. So I wrote a new piece and figured who better to ask for opinion on it than you, my fans.

 

“I’d rather be called the F word.”

 

Friend?

 

“…No.”

 

Well, anyway, here’s what I was thinking of adding:

 

Fel Martins isn’t a New York Times Best Seller. In fact, he’s not even a Mississippi Times Best Seller. Which seems amazing on the surface, since you only need to sell 5 books in the state of Mississippi to rocket to the top of the list. However, getting 5 people to buy books in Mississippi (much less read them) is an ordeal on par with winning a gold medal at the Olympics with Russian Judges acting as arbiters (and we all know how rough those Russians are on western athletes). But, what he lacks in accolades, he makes up for with raucous humor (he hopes, at least). In fact, he guarantees you’ll get at least a dozen laughs from any of his works or he will personally refund* you your purchase!

 

*When Fel says personally, he means literally. As in, you have to go and physically confront him for a refund. On the plus side, he hardly ever leaves his home so you don’t have to go on a scavenger hunt to find him. On the downside, it means most people are better off just eating the loss, rather than spend more money just to obtain a refund.

What do you think?

”Do we have to keep our thoughts family friendly?”

 

Preferably.

 

“I think you wrote this instead of working on your fiction.”

 

That’s preposterous. In fact, I was just about to start working on it but it’s 8pm and this is around the time I start to settle down to sleep. I need my rest in order to tackle the next day.

 

“You’re unemployed!”

 

And it’s exhausting work. Night.