Court Room

I’m sitting in a court room, being tried for a crime I’m fairly certain I didn’t commit. I sat at the defendant’s table, waiting for my lawyer to show up. He was running late and Judge Judy (no not her but a woman nonetheless) was getting angry. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of silence something happened. My co-worker Pardus busted into the room apologizing.
            ”Sorry I’m late. I was at a Magic the Gathering tournament and the match went on longer than I thought.”
Pardus took the seat beside me and set the briefcase he was carrying down on the desk.
            ”Please don’t tell me…”
            ”I’ll be your lawyer today, buddy.”
            ”Oh fuck, I’m going to jail.”
            “Oh don’t be like that. I spent an hour on wikipedia studying law so I’m pretty sure we can win this.”
            “Why are you my lawyer?!”
            “Jeff (our boss at work) offered me a pack of Magic cards if I did. How can I say no to that?”
The judge banged her gavel, signaling that we were going to start.
            “You’re accused of assaulting an officer of the law. How do you plead?”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “Not guilty, of course. I couldn’t have assaulted someone. I never leave my house. You must have me confused with someone else.
            “You’re right. It must’ve been another brown person in Utah. I mean, there’s so many of them.” The judge replied, clearly taking her sarcasm from me
            “Oh, she’s got us there.” Pardus whispered to me. “Don’t worry, I have a secret weapon.” Pardus opened his briefcase and reached into it. He got up and slowly approached the bench. “How about you let Fel go and, in exchange, I give you…” He revealed a shiny card he kept hidden under his sleeve. “A foil planeswalker card.”

            “No.” She replied without even a second thought.
Pardus walked back to the table where I was at. “Well, I’ve done all I could. Better luck next time, buddy.”

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