Popular Sayings

"one man's trash is another man's treasure" is, evidently, not a good pick up line for someone just got broken up with.

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Updating Author Profile?

  I was thinking of updating my author profile on Amazon. So I wrote a new piece and figured who better to ask for opinion on it than you, my fans.   “I’d rather be called the F word.”   Friend?   “…No.”   Well, anyway, here’s what I was thinking of adding:   Fel Martins isn’t a New York Times Best Seller. In fact, he’s not even a Mississippi Times Best Seller. Which seems amazing on the surface, since you only need to sell 5 books in the state of Mississippi to rocket to the top of the list. However, getting 5 people to buy books in Mississippi (much less read them) is an ordeal on par with winning a gold medal at the Olympics with Russian Judges acting as arbiters (and we all know how rough those Russians are on western athletes). But, what he lacks in accolades, he makes up for with raucous humor (he hopes, at least). In fact, he guarantees you’ll get at least a dozen laughs from any of his works or he will personally refund* you yo...
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Peanut Butter Addiction

  So, after writing about nothing last time, more people are worried about me. Again. It never ends. This time it was about that “peanut butter addiction” I mentioned. That’s what I get for not being able to keep my mouth shut. Actually, since all this is in writing, my mouth was shut. Ironically, if I could keep it like that, I wouldn’t be addicted in the first place. But I want some sympathy points so I’m going to explain how this happened.   You know how sometimes, you solve a problem but accidentally create another one. Like, the toilet isn’t filling up with water so you try to plumb it yourself but accidentally end up flooding the bathroom. Well, at least the toilet has water in it now. Good job. Anyway, my problem was that I like Nature Valley Granola Bars. You know, the crumbly ones where you bite into it and it ends up on the ground and not in your mouth. Yeah, the exact opposite place of where a snack is supposed to go. But I love the stuff so I guess I’m stuck ...
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I might have a slight problem.

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  Me: So, back on September 20th, I weighed in at 165 when I got on the scale for a check up at the doctor. I bought a scale to keep track of it at home. This scale says I'm at 200. Either this scale is iffy or I gained 35 pounds in about two weeks. Cory : That can happen when you eat countless spoonfuls of peanut butter Voice inside my head:
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