Write Anything

 

You know when your friends are worried about you; they’ll criticize you by saying stuff like: “you’re too focused on fame and fortune”, “you’re lazy” and “I think you’re addicted to peanut butter.”? Well, I guess I’m back to being lazy because I’m now getting homework to do. You’d think just surviving would be enough. Isn’t it great that I’m still alive? “Pfft. No!” It’s almost like they’re disappointed I’m alive. 

 

Anyway, the homework I was given is to write each day. Write about what? “Whatever.” Oh, that doesn’t sound too hard. I mean, it’s like asking someone to shoot a video about whatever. It sounds easy but now you’re just sitting there wondering what to do. My friend Idaho Jake gave me this assignment. If you’re wondering why I call him that it’s because there’s more than one, so I have to. Otherwise, I’ll look crazy (or crazier than usual). One moment I’ll be saying how Jacob doesn’t have any kids and the next I’ll mention how Jacob has 3 of them. That’s when the intervention talks happen.

“I think it’s time to put Fel in a home.”

“I thought it was time like over a decade ago. Why did we wait so long? It’s not like he’s that much worse now than what he used to be.”

“Don’t interventions have food?”

“No, Kyle! Is that why you’re here? I thought it was weird you showed up because Fel doesn’t even know you.”

 

So, yeah, there’s 2 Jakes, Idaho and Utah. There used to be a Hawaii Jake. When I say it like that it makes it seem like I killed him. They’re still alive as far as I know. But it’s possible that being associated with me ruined their life so they thought their only way out was to transition and lead a completely new life. Oops,my bad. If you see her, tell her I’m sorry. Assuming I had anything to do with it. It might not have. Best to apologize just in case.

 

Anyway, here’s me writing. If you’re mad that you just wasted your time reading about nothing, blame Jake. It’s his fault. Have fun being a social pariah, Jake. If you’re wondering why I’m not worried about becoming one, it’s because you need to be social to be a social pariah. I mean its right there in the name. Just one more benefit to retreating from society. The hermits had the right idea all along.

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