Conspiracy: Jesus is Coming

"What if I told you Jesus is coming back in December?" Conspiracy said this. But not in a super joyful tone. Just a casual one. Like he found out some band he doesn't care for is coming to Utah

 


 

 

He was talking to Chase on the phone. That's all he said. Vague. Like the Tesla brake idea. Despite having the idea, he doesn't go into details. Because you know how inventors don't know how their invention works? Yeah, like that.


Oh, he also said a prayer over the phone.

 

for Chase and...Erika? Don't know who that is but whatever. He also mentioned something about trying to get back his sword and armor. I'm assuming this is a religious thing. So I have no idea what he's talking about. I remember there was stuff about the armor of god and putting it on. But that was always metaphorical, never literal. Putting it on meant more learning and keeping yourself in line with scriptures. But Conspiracy made it seem like something that could be tangible, like it was taken away so now he's focusing on getting it back.

 

 

“I saw on Hannity that Republicans are going to make Trump Speaker of the House. Then, when he’s in, he can find all these people doing the witch hunts.”

 

I’m not sure what’s stopping them from finding that out now. Then again, Trump calls everything a witch hunt despite evidence popping up that proves his guilty and culpability. So I guess everyone is in on the witch hunt and Trump is, by definition, a witch since these hunts are legit.

 

“Did you notice that after I started talking about Jesus, so did Trump? He knows I know what’s up. He’s happy with me. He’s gonna be back in there. Trump is the last trumpet. We’re gonna run him out of office. Not Trump. Other people. Joe Biden needs to go bye bye, immediately. Immediately!”

 

I don’t get the appeal of Trump. Certainly don’t understand how you can see him and think “Christian.” But, Conspiracy not only holds Trump in high regard but also Biden as the opposite. How does one square that away? Is there a mirror universe out there that he’s peering into or something?

 

“We should go to the Texas game. We can still have fun between now and December.”

 

Right. Jesus comes back in December.

 

 

“I fixed the plan of salvation. There were some problems that I had issues with and Heavenly Father let me fix it.”

 

There was a plan created by God, who is omniscient and omnipotent, but he saw a flaw in it and fixed it. I’m amazed at how humble Conspiracy is.

 

 

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