Spam

Do you ever get emails that have you asking “Who do they think I am”? I get these all the time. But none has me as baffled as this one from UK Sotheby’s. If you’re unfamiliar with Sotheby’s, they’re a fine arts company. So they sell overpriced stuff to people with money. And the UK branch figured I was the perfect person for the latest thing they were trying to unload, a palatial mansion overlooking London’s Hyde Park. They have me pegged as a person who not only enjoys the finer things in life but also someone who fancies traveling all over the world, experiencing the wonders of the Earth. And what better way to enjoy London than buying a mansion, for the low price of 42.5 million pounds. Being unemployed, this is just a little out of my price range, unfortunately.

 

The email also calls me Niki. Either I changed my name unknowingly, probably during one of my debaucherous late-night sessions of eating peanut butter while watching youtube and playing pokemon or this email was meant for my sister-in-law. Considering that, unlike me, she actually goes to places and buys things that aren’t made of peanuts and granola, I’m leaning on the latter explanation.