Dating App Reply

  I asked her how her Halloween was and if she did anything fun. She replied: it was fun. Not sure what “it” she did that was fun but at least she had some.

 

If you’re asking “Why did you ask her how her Halloween was in December?” there’s a good answer to your question. I didn’t. I asked how her Halloween was in November, specifically November 1st. It just took her a month to get back to me. 3 words took her 30 days to write. And I thought I was a lazy writer. “She sounds awful. What did you see in this person that made you swipe right on them?” Well, she said she loved to talk and would not shut up. So I figured she’d be fun to talk to. Yeah, that was it. “Was she cute?” I dunno, maybe? I did notice that she never smiled in any of her pics, and she only shared face shots so the fact that she thinks these are her best aspects really says a lot about the quality of people on these apps. “But you’re on those apps.” Yeah, I know. We’re all well aware of my many faults and how terrible I am. I ask where I can improve and people are just like “Pfft, where to begin? I’m not sure there is improvement that can be done here. Honestly, I’d toss you out and start from scratch if I was in charge.” I’ll be sure to ask about some plastic surgery next time I see my doctor.

 

Anyway, back to the message. I remarked that I was surprised to hear back from her. I thought she deleted her profile. Not that I would have blamed her if she did. Dating apps are terrible with people who make for poor conversationalists. Anyway, I asked her how her Thanksgiving was. And, considering how long it took to hear from her last time, I also asked how her Christmas was. I should change my name to Tom because I be Petty.

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