Dream: Coming Home

Do you think dreams speak to you? Perhaps your subconscious is trying to tell you something. I’m not sure how much thought I should give to those nebulous imaginations. But one of the most, if not number 1, topics I find myself in at night is the plot of me, Felly Fel, trying to get home. I know exactly what you’re thinking “What? Getting home couldn’t be easier these days.” You’re right. It couldn’t. Yet it’s so difficult in my dream. I’ve created plans, strategies, on getting back home in both real life and in my dreams, for various scenarios. I love my home yet my dreams are taunting me. Tempting me with goals I can never seem to achieve no matter how long I spend in their world. I’m in the middle of nowhere and have to travel in a direction in hopes of civilization. I and a partner are in a car, driving down Kamehameha Highway, on our way home on that 2 lane road around the coast of Oahu. Yet out we can never seem to make it. We’ll come across accidents, figures fighting, Godzilla makes a cameo, it doesn’t matter how long we drive, and we’ll never get home.

Last night was no different. I was on a break from work and bored. So Dream Fel, the crazy cat, decided to go outside. Why? I don’t know. Outside is one of my least favorite places in the world. Well, that’s a lie. I do know why. He went to go see a favorite teacher of his from Kahuku High. If that sounds like a bad idea, that’s because it is. The teacher was too busy working to deal, I mean, converse with Dream Fel. So he sat there in a boring class, barely paying attention. Eventually, he decided to go home because he also didn’t know anyone from high school. Which I’m thankful for. The last thing I want to deal with on a trip home is why Dream Fel knows underage teenagers.

So, I’ve dealt with this situation before in my dreams. Dream Fel is stuck somewhere and needs to get home. I’ve tried asking for a ride and whoever agrees to give me one takes forever because they’re selfish, unwilling to pause their busy life just to give me, a person who didn’t plan shit out, a ride home. Jesus is watching, selfish serf. Oh, he’s watching. Then there’s the bus, but that’s a trap in and of itself. It’s going to have a million stops with none of them being mine. Can’t use that. Then I remembered that we’re in the 2010s. Smart phone. Yes. Get me that uber!

I don’t recall ever seeing a smart phone in a dream before. But that has all changed with this dream. I tap the screen a few times and order myself a ride. Then I wait. And Wait. And Wait. Check back on the app. Ride Cancelled. Order another, cancelled immediately. And another. 20 minutes away. Ok, lets wa-cancelled. Fine, you don’t want to come to me, I’ll come to you. I notice that all the cars are a 20 minute walk away from the school so I venture out to meet a car.

My mind tried to throw Dream Fel a curve ball, my car showed up, an F1 race car, seat in front seat in the back. A mother was up front with her 2 kids in the back.
            “I don’t think there’s enough room.” She frowned.

Then why did you sign up for uber, you dumb bitch?! You know what, no. I won’t accept this. I get on the side of the car and tell her to start driving.

            “I don’t think this is safe.”

Your kids don’t have their seatbelt on! We’ve long ago stopped caring about living now, haven’t we? We start chatting, I’m weird so I like talking to my uber drivers, getting to know new people and hearing their stories. But my mind was going to punish me for that.

            “I just remembered something.” My driver realized. “I have 3 kids. That’s what I was going to do, pick her up from school. I’m sorry.”

We did sharp U-Turn that almost threw me off the car. I wish it had because she ended up driving back to the school to pick up her kid. So I’m right back to where I started.

            “The 4 of us in this car? I don’t think there’s enough room.” Dream Fel stupidly said.

            “You’re right. Get out.” She demanded.

I’m starting to regret not falling off back there. I’d at least be closer to home. Now what? Uber said there were no more drivers. Really? None? Well, none that want to pick me up. Evidently I have a bad passenger rating. “Doesn’t shut up.” Is the most common criticism. Fair enough.

And that’s where the dream ended. Despite all my best efforts, which really was just the 2 efforts of ordering ubers and just up and walking away from the school, I was right back where I started. Dream Fel might want to go home but he can never seem to get there. It’s an apt metaphor for Real Fel. No matter how much I try, plan out, ask for help, get out there, be more accommodating and accepting, I typically end right back where I start, dream unfulfilled.