Uber Patience

 

I’m reminded why I hate stepping out in public today. I hate the public. The public is stupid. Actually, things were going pretty well right up until the end. I went to the dentist, everything was fine. Teeth were simple to clean, no cavities. I should have known. Things were going too smoothly for someone with my luck. I order an Uber and I get a ride that’s 12 minutes away. Perfect. Just enough time to get some reading in. I pick up my book and go through a few pages then check back at my driver’s progress. 11 minutes away. I’m not the fastest reader, quite the opposite, I sometimes need to re-read passages because my mind gets distracted by just about everything, including an air conditioning turning on. I’m not sure why it was taking him so long to make the journey; it was a straight shot on the highway for 11 minutes with a 1 minute drive to where I was at after getting off it. But, no. I saw my uber driver move forward a few paces. Stop. Move forward. Stop. Head back. Stop. Move forward. Stop. I saw the minutes jump from 12 to 11 to 12 to 11 to 10 (finally, some hope!) back to 12 (god damn it!). This felt like one of those relatable episodes of the Twilight Zone. Maybe it’s not him; maybe it’s me constantly going back in time? No, my clock was still moving forward, it was just my driver having a hard time doing the one thing he’s supposed to do, drive.

This continued on for 36 minutes. Slowly making progress towards me. I kept jumping back and forth between my book and the app thinking “surely he’s close by now!” only to be told time and time again he was still quite a ways away. Until, finally, he got off the highway and was now just a mere 2 miles away. 1.5 miles. 1 mile. He was right down the road. Then cancelled. After 40 minutes, he was 1 mile away and he cancelled. Why? You came all this way, at the very least see this through. Why didn’t you cancel 35 minutes ago? And this driver, according to uber, was considered a “top driver”. Which, hey, I’m not here to argue. All I’m going to say is if this guy is one of your top, where the fuck are you finding your bottom drivers? Are you rounding people up from the concussion ward at the hospital and putting them behind the wheel? Gathering people after Last Call in a bar? Recruiting failed Driver’s Ed students after school?

Uber quickly connected me with another driver. 8 minutes away. Ok, at least he’s close. I return back to my book and am barely a page in before my driver contacts me. “Where is your destination?” I told him I just got my teeth cleaned at the dentist’s. It’s snuggled between some shops so I’ll step outside so it’s easier to find me. This happens sometimes, I get contacted asking me exactly where I am because the GPS glitches out but I’ve never had someone ask me where I’m going. “Where are you going?” he clarified. Oh, is your GPS broken? I asked him. That’s fine. I’m headed home. We can just go straight down State Street and I can point out where to turn...*cancelled* Kill me now!

 

3rd time ended up being the charm. It was actually exactly what you’d expect from a ride. He picked me up and dropped me off at home. Really boring, just the way I like it. Just a shame that I spent an hour waiting for a ride when my dental appointment was over and done with in half an hour.

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