Crazy Housemate Ramblings

My housemate was on the phone. He says some ridiculous lines. Here's what I overheard just from this last phone call. 

I shut down Russia’s nuclear capabilities. That was me. I also saved Taiwan by shutting down Xi. I also exposed Nancy Pelosi. She knows who I am now. Chuck Schumer, I’m in the process of exposing him. (As for what he exposed, I have no idea.). I’m in the process of getting rid of the income tax.

You should get into crypto. I’m in it. I post about it. Whenever I do, the market responds. You know Doge, Baby Doge, Shiba Inu? That was me raising those.

 

I got the liberal colleges defunded. Same with Planned Parenthood.


Ralph’s. You know the grocery company. I made my store the best store in the country. Made the most money. I had over 1000 people who would only have me help them. (Right, people go to the grocery store and specifically request you to do…..what?)

 

All the news anchors know who I am. Personally.

I have so many celebrities that want to get to know me. Eminem wants to meet me. Vin Diesel. Tom Brady talks about me. The Queen of England wanted to meet me before she died. I didn’t get an invite to the funeral. Must’ve been lost in the mail. So many people want to meet me. I don’t even care anymore. Evan McMullin? Yeah, he’s a socialist. (yeah, former CIA guy is a socialist. Who knew?) Secret Service. FBI. They know me. They all like me. Ever heard of Delta Force? I’m around them a lot.

 

44 of 46 presidents are related to me. (Kind of odd, considering we’ve only had 45. Grover Cleveland served two non-consecutive terms).


My friend has been running the state of Utah for so long. He knows the Attorney General.

The election was stolen. Oh yeah. Biden was put in there. (I’m sure you’re wondering why a guy who can single-handedly shut down both Russia’s nuclear capabilities and thwart China’s ambition in Taiwan, why didn’t he stop it. Well, because it had to happen. To wake people up. As for why he thought that was more convincing than catching people in the act and prosecuting, your guess is as good as mine.).

I’m actually handling a lot of the stuff for Trump. When he gets put back into office, I’ll be in charge of that. I was the anonymous source for Trump. Remember hearing about that? I’m the one who got gas down to $2.

 

I came up with the technology. Like, in Tesla. I’m the one who said we should use kinetic energy. No, I didn’t put a patent on it. I don’t care.

I’ve sold real estate before. I’ve rented and sold already (so…why is he renting a room here?) I’ve owned apartments. I had 2 in Ohio.

I’ll be owning a 787 Jet. Also a super yacht. And dozens of cars. I got my friend a car, a $10,000 for $6,000. I’m really good at psychology. It’s not really about the stuff though.

I can get people to do what I want. (Yes, this is the same guy who regularly complains about women not liking him. I guess being just really good at psychology isn’t good enough).


Bezos wanted me to take over Amazon. They wanted me but I’m still thinking about it.I was thinking of getting into management first, then getting free relocation bonus. (For a guy who knows psychology, why doesn’t he just use that skill to argue for free relocation?)

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