Doctor Callback.

 I’ve got some news to share!

“Same here, Felly! Ok, most important person goes first.”

Gotcha, so anyway-

“Remember that homeless guy behind the Wendy’s? The one who I thought was a French financier? Well, we’re going into business together. Don’t worry, this isn’t a pyramid scheme nor is it crypto currency”


Well, that’s good to hear.


“We will be selling drugs! And not in the pharmacy, if you know what I mean ; )”


That’s…not better.


“I know you’re unemployed. I would ask you to join us but, you know, black…Utah. You get stopped just for walking around the block. I’d be losing money on you. It’s only business, you understand right?”

…..

”*Ahem* Oh, you had something to say?”

I was just going to say I heard back from Huntsman. You know, the cancer doc?

”You have cancer?”

The tumor.

”Not ringing a bell.”

Remember when you put money on me dying.

”Oh right. That. You know, after I thought I lost everything, I was prepared to abandon my life here and take up a new identity and life down in Tijuana. Even packed my suitcase and fake documents and everything.”

Are you ok?

”No, not in the least. Anyway, you heard back about not dying. Any update on…well, not dying even more I guess.”

Well the tumor was found in the soft tissue, not inside my bone. So I’m in the clear. Just need to get an MRI every couple of months to check up on my knee and make sure it’s not up to any mischief.”

”Awesome! Speaking of mischief, I need to make a few phone calls. For my new business venture.”

I feel like this announcement of mine has been more about your than me.

”Yeah, but your friends probably want to hear more from me than you. I am more interesting, after all.”

You’re not even real! I just made you up so these announcements would be more interesting.

”And they are. Congratulations on inventing me. And now the student has become the master. You should feel proud.”

Didn’t you have some phone calls to make?

”Yeah, well when you’re imaginary, time really is more of a suggestion than a requirement. I can make that call whenever. I can even make it in the past. Watch. Ok, done. I’m all set.”

So, when you take calls while I’m talking…

“That’s when I get bored of you and want to do something more exciting, like talking on the phone or watching paint dry.”

….

“When you think about it, makes sense, right? You’re so boring you had to invent me to make things interesting only for me to get bored and leave as well. Ironic huh?”

This is getting real stupid.

“And whose fault is that? Mine? You’d really only be blaming yourself in the end. Much like most of your other problems in life.”

Except for this tumor. The doctor got my samples from surgery back. Turns out I’m just genetically cursed to have this problem.

“I feel like that’s still your fault. Or your parents since they gave you those genes. Regardless, I’m still blameless.”

….

“But you created me. So, really, this is a compliment for you, on having the mental fortitude to create someone like me. Not everyone is so intellectually competent to do such a feat.”

…Thanks? You’re welcome? Not sure how to respond to that.

“We can just leave you and everyone else in awe at my genius.”

Definitely wasn’t thinking that.

”But I was. And since you thought me up, you must have as well. So >P ”