Conspiracy Rantings #15 Relationship Edition

This one is kind of crazy (More crazy than normal, I mean. I know his rantings are already crazy enough.)



“I’m way more famous than you are! I’m out of The Bible.”

 

I do not know who he’s talking to…or who he is pretending to talk to. Ge talks way different to himself, more assertive. Whereas when he talks to people, he’s far more passive. But it sounds like he’s involved with another scammer. Talking about how this relationship is torture.

 

“I have over 8 billion people who know who I am. I have 9 billion people who know who I am!”

 

I just want to tell you that I am not splicing two sentences together here. That was one sentence and the following one a few seconds later came the other. Given this exponential growth, I think we’ll cover every atom in the galaxy by the end of the day. And he did say billion, with a b. There’s only 8 billion people on the planet. So, where is this other billion coming from? I guess it includes dead people. Or maybe this guy believes in aliens?

 

“I don’t have a thousand dollars.”

 

Oh, he’s handed over some money to a scammer and now they’re asking for more. You run into these types on dating apps. They want to take things over off the app before the scammer’s profile gets deleted. Then ask for money. It starts small, like $50. Then they increase over time. Or I assume they do. I’ve never actually handed over money. But that’s how I’ve read this works. Obviously, no one is going to hand over hundreds or thousands on the first go. But, you get people in slowly and form a connection, then there’s some sunk-cost fallacy going on. Or something like that.

 

“No more excuses! Do what I ask! I am drawing a line in the sand!”

 

I don’t know what he’s asking for. I do remember him muttering to himself a few days ago about wanting a phone call. No more texts. This could be related to that. Scammers, obviously, do not want to talk on the phone. Kind of hard to keep the façade up.

 

“I want to chat over the phone. Our relationship will go farther.”

 

There we go. Yep, this is definitely it.

 

“I’m not gonna budge on this babe. I love you. But you’re gonna do what I say.”

 

If you’re wondering why I don’t jump in and help, it’s because he doesn’t listen. I’ve already tried. I’ve explained to him that these people are not who they say they are and are only after his money. I think he gets addicted to the idea. Playing pretend over text and hoping this time it’ll be different.

 

“No, no 500! I’m fuckin irritated. I’m getting ready to break shit!”

 

If he broke his phone, it would solve this problem.

 

“No phone call, no money.”

 

Man, it must kill these scammers to know that they’re so close to that money yet can’t get to it.

 

“Why do you stress me out like this? I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you. Get your act together! No more fuckin excuses!”

 

“I know a lot more famous people than you do. So you might want to look in a mirror.”

 

I think irony just died. And Conspiracy murdered it.

 

“I have Delta Force ready to go. And round up every single member of your management team. I’m ready to wipe your ass clean. You’re going to do what I ask you to do or you’re done. Want me to be on the next flight to torture your ass? I’ll be right there. One bullet to the forehead. Boom! You’re done.”

 

You know, it’s a good thing conspiracy is just working at an Amazon Warehouse. Can you imagine this guy with any sort of power?

 

“God, some people are just so idiotic!”

 

Ok, if he didn’t kill irony before, he definitely did it with this one.

 

“No one messes with me. I have Seal Team 6, I have Delta Force on speed dial. The police don’t mess with me. The military doesn’t mess with me. I’m the one who brings justice to this one.”

 

And now Chase called. He apologized for being a bit angry when he answered the phone. Showing that when talking to himself, he’s really tough but gets soft when actually talking to another person. He says he can’t talk for long because he has door dash. He sounds really sad. And that’s rough. Imagine doing door dash just to hand over that money to a scammer because they gave you a bit of attention. It’s actually kind of sad. He’s saying he’s going to leave. 

 

I don't get how he squares away this idea that he's super powerful and everyone knows him, yet being so weak in practice. Surely if he were as powerful and popular as he imagines, he wouldn't be working at a warehouse job he hates and begging for a woman to call him. It's like his brain is an ancient computer with only enough RAM to entertain one thought at the time. The omnipotent version and this pathetic version never occupy his mind at the same time. 

And I agree. He should leave this scammer. It’ll be good for him.

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